standing at hell's entrance

well, i survived.. most of it at least.
what i wasn't counting on is that on january i will be.. not, i'm confident i won't be alone. i know i have great friends to take care of me. but i'll be without him.
living without him, ha, already am actually.
and it's not going so fantastic. it preety much sucks.
maybe it's just a bad day. maybe i will be able to sleep. maybe i'll even stop dreaming about him. maybe i'll find the strenght to go on with my plans, maybe it'll be the greatest month ever.
somehow, i just don't quite think so.
being more realistic.. maybe i'll be strong enough to just make it trough the days, one by one.

or maybe not.